JFD’s Top 28 Founding Superlatives, January 11, 2015 A.D.
by John F. Di Leo
If the Founding Fathers Were 21st Century High Schoolers, they would have voted each other into a “most likely to…” list.
Something like this, I expect:
Most Likely To lose his temper and storm off in a huff: John Adams
Most Likely To stay in the same job for 35 years: John Marshall
Most Likely To be addicted to technology: Benjamin Franklin
Most Likely To write improper fan fiction: Gouverneur Morris
Most Likely To be the subject of improper fan fiction: Alexander Hamilton
Most Likely To accidentally set up two different dates for the same Saturday night: Aaron Burr
Most Likely To actually go on two different dates on the same Saturday night: Gouverneur Morris
Most Likely To have a faithful dog named after him: Henry Knox
Most Likely To have a tomcat named after him: Alexander Hamilton
Most Likely To start a war: George Washington
Most Likely To stab his friends in the back: Benedict Arnold
Most Likely To be voted Prom Queen: Martha Wayles
Most Likely To take bribes from the Spanish: James Wilkinson
Most Likely To be able to talk her husband into just about anything: Peggy Shippen
Most Likely To mumble incoherently through a valedictory speech: James Madison
Most Likely To become a shock jock on the radio: Patrick Henry
Most Likely To miss his final exams because he’d rather sit at home and play his violin: Thomas Jefferson
Most Likely To use up his entire inkwell answering the first question on his final exams: John Hancock
Most Likely To start drama in club councils: Thomas Conway
Most Likely To fail map-making class: Elbridge Gerry
Most Likely To get everybody lost by giving confusing directions: Pierre Charles L’Enfant
Most Likely To hold a grudge: Abigail Smith
Most Likely To run away like a girl: Charles Lee
Most Likely To marry the prom king: Elizabeth Schuyler
Most Likely To get kicked out of every bar in Scotland: Thomas Paine
Most Likely To burn down every bar in Scotland: John Paul Jones
Most Likely To get everybody steamed: Robert Fulton
Most Likely To make a profit by getting everybody steamed: Robert R. Livingston
Ah well. For what it’s worth…
Copyright 2015 John F. Di Leo
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