If The Founding Fathers Were 21st Century High Schoolers…

JFD’s Top 28 Founding Superlatives, January 11, 2015 A.D.

by John F. Di Leo

If the Founding Fathers Were 21st Century High Schoolers, they would have voted each other into a “most likely to…” list.

Something like this, I expect:

Most Likely To lose his temper and storm off in a huff:  John Adams

Most Likely To stay in the same job for 35 years:  John Marshall

Most Likely To be addicted to technology:  Benjamin Franklin

Most Likely To write improper fan fiction: Gouverneur Morris

Most Likely To be the subject of improper fan fiction:  Alexander Hamilton

Most Likely To accidentally set up two different dates for the same Saturday night:  Aaron Burr

Most Likely To actually go on two different dates on the same Saturday night:  Gouverneur Morris

Most Likely To have a faithful dog named after him:  Henry Knox

Most Likely To have a tomcat named after him:  Alexander Hamilton

Most Likely To start a war: George Washington

Most Likely To stab his friends in the back:  Benedict Arnold

Most Likely To be voted Prom Queen:  Martha Wayles

Most Likely To take bribes from the Spanish:  James Wilkinson

Most Likely To be able to talk her husband into just about anything: Peggy Shippen 

Most Likely To mumble incoherently through a valedictory speech:  James Madison

Most Likely To become a shock jock on the radio:  Patrick Henry

Most Likely To miss his final exams because he’d rather sit at home and play his violin: Thomas Jefferson

Most Likely To use up his entire inkwell answering the first question on his final exams: John Hancock

Most Likely To start drama in club councils: Thomas Conway

Most Likely To fail map-making class:  Elbridge Gerry

Most Likely To get everybody lost by giving confusing directions:  Pierre Charles L’Enfant

Most Likely To hold a grudge:  Abigail Smith

Most Likely To run away like a girl:  Charles Lee

Most Likely To marry the prom king: Elizabeth Schuyler

Most Likely To get kicked out of every bar in Scotland:  Thomas Paine

Most Likely To burn down every bar in Scotland: John Paul Jones

Most Likely To get everybody steamed:  Robert Fulton

Most Likely To make a profit by getting everybody steamed:  Robert R. Livingston

Ah well.  For what it’s worth…

Copyright 2015 John F. Di Leo

 

 

 

 

One thought on “If The Founding Fathers Were 21st Century High Schoolers…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *